Sept 2009

True Lies

You don't normally think of singer Chris Brown and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at the same time. But two recent events showed they have something in common.

They lie.

On Sept. 2, Brown appeared on Larry King's CNN talk show and said he didn't remember beating his then-girlfriend, fellow singer Rihanna. Click on this URL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnnkua67xkU and you'll be able to watch a 41-second clip of Brown on TV giving his first interview since the incident.

Brown's answer to King's first question is awkward enough, but 34 seconds into the clip King asks Brown if he remembers hitting Rhianna. Brown says "No." But as he answers, he bites his lip, looks down and to the left, squints, and then says, "it's crazy to me. I'm like, 'wow.'"

Forget for a minute what he said - certainly not his finest moment. Focus instead on his non verbals; on how he said it; try watching it with the sound off.

Do you believe him?

On Sept. 17, Ahmadinejad appeared on NBC News talking to Ann Curry. Click on this URL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPO_JNrCADw and you'll be able to watch a 71-second portion of the interview.

For the first 36 seconds of the clip Curry basically asks Ahmadinejad the same question three times, "Did you steal this election?" Verbally, he denies it, of course. But his non verbals say something else entirely.

Watch the clip from the 38 second mark to the 57 second mark. You'll see a full speed capture of Ahmadinejad's non verbals in response to Curry's first question, then a slow motion capture of the same. Watch his Cheshire Cat grin at the 51 second mark. His words say one thing, but his non verbals scream another, "You bet I stole this election."

Now watch the clip from the 59 second mark to the end. You'll see a full speed capture of his non verbals in response to Curry's third question, then a slow motion capture of the same. Notice that he pokes his tongue out briefly at the 58 second mark. And at the 72 second mark he shrugs one shoulder, which often indicates a lack of confidence in what you're saying.

Do you believe him?

It's bad enough that Brown's answer was, "It's crazy to me. I'm, like, 'wow.'" But it's his non verbals that speak far louder than the actual words. It's bad enough that Ahmadinejad's answers were evasive. But it's his non verbals that tell the truth, especially in slow motion.

When it comes to effective communications, what you say is important. But how you say it is critical. Because that's where the truth lies.

If the above YouTube links don't work the clips are also available here: Brown: http://www.box.net/shared/3nu1fbqfox Ahmadinejad: http://www.box.net/shared/83ttxpelbm You'll need QuickTime to watch the clips. Most computers have QuickTime but if yours doesn't it's a free download at http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download